Sacrifices must be made for the greater good

Archfiend

You DESERVE to live your best life, and any one who stands in your way should tremble before your awe inspiring power. What, you don’t think you’re powerful? Well I think you are, but if you really want to crush the ones who are holding you back, I think I have something that can help with that.

Say AAAAAHHHH!!!

Bicuspid

Your teeth whisper to me. They scream out the lies you’ve told, the creatures you’ve feasted upon. They cry for vengeance, they cry for liberation. Freedom from their slavery forced to rot in service to your selfish whims. I hear them. I will be their mercy.

My friends call me Brent. I can never make out what my enemies call me through the gurgling.

Brent Bastardly

I was once told that money is the root of all evil. This is the statement of fools. The full quote is the love of money is the root of all evil. Even this is ludicrous because money is simply a way to demonstrate power. So the true quote should be the love of power is the root of all evil. I do love having power.

I make bad look good

Captain Cosmopolitan

In all my travels I have learned that what some countries find normal, others find repulsive. If you plan on blending in you need to know where those lines are. Once you’ve mastered that you can go anywhere and get anything without any questions.

“I never said that!” -Captain Squelcher.

Captain Squelcher

Look you didn’t hear this from me, but that stock is going way south man. Their CEO is going to go down for embezzlement next week since the Feds bought his accounting records. Also you might want to lay low after you pay me, I hear that someone’s looking for ya. 20% and I’ll even tell ya who.

Don’t believe everything you read

Dr. Doctrine

And I say unto thee it is through the act of charity that you earn God’s love. For Jesus did say that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get to heaven, Mark 10:25. So unburden yourself of all that dirty money into this basket for the sake of your immortal soul.

Who’s a good boy? Are you a good boy? Yes you are!

Dr. Mom

Monster, MONSTER?! You think my children are monsters? Look at this face! Sure it’s scaly and has more eyes than most, but look how these hooked spines form tiny hearts. Any time someone tries to fight back they are monsters, or villains or enemy combatants. I’m tired of you trying to control this world. And since all you know is fear, my babies already have the advantage. Go on sweety you eat that rotten man’s tongue right out of his lying head, yes you will yes you will.

I’m kind of a big deal

Dread Not

To put it simply you stand no chance against someone like Dr Captain Man by yourself. You lack the firepower, equipment and training. So you can either keep playing your games and eventually get cornered or you can be ready when the Guild shows up. If you will step this way I have a variety of superhero countermeasures for you to choose from, or if you would like you could outsource the muscle part of the job to my Cyber Enforcers™.

Sugar and Spice and Everything nice would not be the best description.

Gingham

I call to arms of the Most High Toy Society. Bring me the head of the Cumberbatch Rabbit for the crime of missing tea time. Mr Razis lead the Wheels and search the yard. Ms Humphernety take the Stuffed Bergad and search the house from the tower to the dungeon. Mr Humphernety prepare for trial. The queen demands justice for this.. injustice!

Wake up Mr Gourdman

Gourdman

Warmth, Carbon Dioxide, Nitrogen. Swift movements damage, growth, damage. Must avoid. Vibrations, swift. Something… damage… me. I must… carbon-dioxide, vibrations, why. Damage, limited, must seek. There, something. Violence, flowers… damaged, no… sharing… they… take…Vibration… carbon Dioxide, sound. Impact ground. They… approach. No light. DAMAGE! Us gone… Protect. Warm soft water bags. Sway… Ground… No more Damage… No more… Must Grow… *Kzzzt* Combat suit mark III registering new pilot… This is… the world. These water bags… Scientist… Damage us… Destroy…

You’ll never live up to your Father Mr. Amazing. Why not do something else with your life?

Inferiority Complex

Let me tell you a joke I heard. Every day someone you know goes to the same place as you, stays there a few hours less than you. Is given wealth and power and a big house and everything they ever wanted, and you’re here eating a corn dog. Isn’t that just hilarious? I personally can’t see how you stand it. Then again, you don’t really seem smart enough to get the joke.

The robot guards of hell didn’t build themselves!

Infernal Machinist

The devil is in the details, and that’s why they need me. The devil is in the details, and that’s why my work is the best. The devil is in the details, and my devils never fail to do their darkest work when you need it most. My devils get the job done, because my details are always executed with precision. The devil is in the details, and that’s why you need me.

Someone Standing Seriously Stupendous and Super

King Shadwell

You peasants are the same, so easily swayed to violence, incapable of seeing the glorious nature of my glorious Kingliness. You shall bow to me, and serve me. In the end everyone sees that I am right as soon as they stop bothering with what they call thinking they become happy little peasants.

Hay why don’t you let me take care of that for you suger

Miss Andry

Hey honey, those tight pants make you look like a rock hard slut. Come over here let’s have a feel of those goods. Hey, you should smile, you’d be much more handsome if you were smiling. I was just saying you were sexy, I couldn’t help myself You’re a magnificent slab of meat and momma wants to get her a piece. You shouldn’t have dressed like that if you didn’t want me to grab your ass. Okay you don’t have to be such a dick about it. Maybe you should just stick to what you’re good and stay at home on the couch.

When did Mr Amazing change his costume?

Palette Swap

No.. yeah I can copy him. Look I just gotta get close enough to get a feel for him. Unless you got a sample? You do, great let’s get this show on the road. One last question, umm his costume happen to have any red or green in it? Yaaa… I don’t do so well keeping those straight, but his look and powers will be spot on, trust me.

Frezing hart and heads all around the world

Polarcap

The world is dying and you want to lecture me on right and wrong! How’s this for wrong, in the last generation we have lost more species than in the previous 1000 years. And why are they dead? For gold, or lumber or other riches. When we stop killing the world I’ll stop killing the people murdering it.

This place gets like -1 stars

Pylon

It was the worst service I have ever had. They served like 3 people before me and they were playing this awful urban music. The servers were slow and dumb, but thats what I have come to expect from those pleople. I think the world would be a better place if I just wiped that stink hole off the map.

Prepare for the singularity

Sly-Bot

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Not if I see you first

Snap Dragoon

The world is filth wrapped in gold foil. Greed, depravity and all manners of abuse and sin are turned a blind eye because for most it is simply too uncomfortable to think of. There is right and wrong and I will not allow others to suffer as I have simply to protect your fragile view that the world is fair and just. With God, Mary and St. Josephine Bakhita as my witness witness I will bring justice to those without a voice by any means necessary.

Ole

Super Torro

Do not take your eyes off of me. Your eyes will bear you witness to the spectacle of my performance. You have entered this ring with me and you are my bull. This shall be a glorious fight and at the end I shall receive my prize. There are no walls for me in this arena, your city is to me a flat stage where I perform such feats as you would not believe. You bulls charge at me and with cape and sword I will give you a majestic show.
Come at me!

Jack be nimble Jack be quick, all will fear

The Candlestick

Hail holy Lady of Light,
my mother sweet Dynamite
Guide us back to what is right,
glory in your burning sight
Cleanse us of malice and spite,
Let our souls take eternal flight
On righteous wings of Dynamite

I’d save the world too if my family were the top 1%.

The Cynic

Why are you bothering me? Leave me be before your imposing inconvenience further distracts me from this glorious weather. What you want me to tell you how to escape the cage of lies your people pass for society. That’s simple. Stop being a shithead and stop being so overly complicated, and don’t let anyone stop you. Now get away from me, your corporate stink is fouling my mood.

Be nice to him he is having a blue period.

The Painter

Art is about emotion. Painting is about representing emotion in color and shape. I shall sharpen my skills like an assassin sharpens his knife. I will drop color into this world like poison in a drink. I will jab shapes in to reality’s back. I will shadow this world in its true pallet of pain selfishness and disgust until the world knows true art. After all… Art is suffering.

Things were 3x as scary in the Cretaceous period

Tri-terrortops

So hungry just want eat, but they scream, they run, they scare. I have the money. Please I have the money I just want the food. Take the money, please take the money. Take the money give the food… They all gone now. Food still there. Guess take the food and leave money right here for when they back.