Warping reality with the power of grammar

Adverb

Not long ago Adverb was one of the top heroes. She may have been the greatest with more time spent…          

Hay, I can see you talking about me. you make it sound like I washed out or something, I had a kid and decided to take some time off the front line.
… not long after rumors began to surface regarding her relationship wi…          

Why don’t you shove it! Seriously did I do something to make you mad? Normally your more neutral than this. Is this about last week when I changed your closing line? It was grammatically weak.

……………………………..…………..no

Leader
Before there was the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse there was the horse of war

Aithon

Father would be so proud. You humans, even without him you have built such impressive means to destroy each other. His joy that your war continues forward, your thirst for conquest drives on without him. Sometimes I can still feel his presence in the embers your race has kept burning for him, my master Ares.

(Redacted)

Backspace

Jeese some people will put their whole lives online without thinking about it. User agreement says it’s ok for them to access your microphone, no one asks why a free to play game needs your mic and camera, idiots. Now I just need Mr. Dictator to log in to something and I have access to his whole system.


Super computers require Super IT

Debugger

So, I get that this thing is powered by the energy pulled from rapidly shifting quantum states and there isn’t anything to unplug per-se but honestly the first step, did you turn it off and back on again? Yes, I get that it’s always technically both off and on. No, I am not just wasting your time… Then just observe it until it’s all off… No, I am not giving you a discount because you’re having to do this yourself. No, the lights shouldn’t be red… Alright now do me a favor and lift it four inches above a sturdy surface, now let it go. Yes drop it!
You’re welcome… Thank you for contacting Super I.T. Have a great day.

What do you mean she got a new girlfriend!?

Dr. Jealousy

If you can keep your head when everyone around you is losing theirs, you just might make general some day.

General Panic

Everything that’s not bolted down is mine now.

Grab

Need something done before anyone can blink? Deadlines looming like the pyramids? Grab will get you what you need before you can believe it. I’ll run circles around the competition until their heads spin. Distractions, deliveries, devious, daring or dangerous? Don’t waste your money on someone who can’t reach the finish line. My track record speaks for itself, no one runs it better.

Leader
What’s more basterdly than Brent. A super audit.

Hi-Revenue

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I’m starting to understand the frustration around Frankenstein

Mechimus Maximus

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This is a very scary bird of a feather

Perry Keet

With great power comes a great many people asking you for favors. Sorry, I don’t work that way. This isn’t my world, you are not my people, if this whole place burned down I would ride on the thermals. The only reason I’m willing to take this job is because the energy required to rob a bank and deal with the number of people chasing after me is greater than just doing the work. So if you want my help then use those weird sausage fingers to add 0’s to that check until I say stop.

+ Telekinetic
+ Psychic
– Psychopathic

Someone once told her to have a colorful personality. She found the next best thing.

Prism Beam

Look, I’m a showstopper. I’ve done the lights with Josh’y Josh and the get fresh crew. I dropped the ball in new years Times Square back in 2003. They have wanted me to work Coachella for years and I want to but it’s so hard to find the time for that kind of thing. I’m just looking for some who treat me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates, romantic boat rides on their super yacht, but like not be super jealous of my career.

Doctrists from In-between Univeristy 

Professor Paranormal

Leader
None of us can fly, or run at the speed of sound, and traffic was a mess, but I think we made good time.

Rapid Responce Unit

I’ll take charge of your treasure!

Receiver General 

That was a close one

Ricko-shave

Ricko took a moment to enjoy the feel of their small shop as the afternoon sunlight fell across the man seated in the vintage barber chair. The chair dated back to the 1930s and was lovingly adorned with a cast iron scrollwork footrest, arm supports, and headrest. The hard surfaces were each padded with blood-red cushions finished with fine black stitching. The foot pedals that controlled the tilt and hydraulics had the look of polished brass that was only achievable by decades of use and care. As a venerable antique the chair had the honor of being the second oldest thing in the shop. The rest of the workspace was mostly taken up by a modern workstation holding a variety of scissors, clippers, and sprays. A sitting area composed of a number of comfortable couches and a large TV tuned to a local sports channel rounded out the small shop. As was the custom the TV’s volume was turned down so as to not disturb Ricko’s art. A second TV was mounted high in a dark corner for Ricko’s personal use and was midway through a generic vampire flick. Ricko, unlike others, greatly enjoyed the modern interpretations of the classic monsters, though they did tend to give people funny ideas about what was real and what was imaginary.

After preparing a robust lather Ricko began to use a badger hair brush to work the thick foam into the stubble of the man’s neck. The stark white of the concoction contrasted with Ricko’s dark skin like cream and coffee. Taking the razor Ricko began to work, like an artist with a brush. The razor slipped across the skin lifting the foam and stubble from the client’s cheek with equal ease.

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You just need to realize the truth. There is no cat.

Schrodingers Cat

If you were raised in a cave and had only ever seen shadows that would be your reality.

Shadow Puppit

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NO JAR LID CAN STOP ME!!

Smash

Leader
What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.

The Confinscator

She’s the go-to Goatee.

The Goatee

Enraged Goatee almost saw red. This was an incredible feat for her because goats are almost completely red-green colorblind. As a matter of fact, without the aid of her cybernetic third eye, she may have missed the horribly offensive sign.
“Goat crossing my fetlocked ass, I go where I want” Goatee grumbled into her gunstock. If she were still in her home dimension such a sigh would be seen as a hate crime.
But she wasn’t in her home dimension was she. Goatee still wasn’t used to that idea. Being surrounded by all these… monkeys… was still unsettling to her even years after her accident.
As tempted as she was to obliterate that horrible piece of scenery her target was something a bit more primate in form and if her dad taught her two things it was how to shoot and when to shoot.

Has anyone seen my beachball? It’s about this big. I think it was last over there.

The Gun Show

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